Numbers don’t lie and we all know the cost of healthcare seem to keep rising. Comprehending a cancer diagnosis is tough, which often forces thoughts of “What will this treatment cost?” to the back burner. Often the reality of cost doesn’t sink in until patients are undergoing treatment, sending them into a tailspin that leaves them thinking less about their recovery than about how they’re going to pay for everything. But I am here to tell you that it is okay to ask for help and a great first step is to reach out to your healthcare team.

“Everybody in our family gets cancer if they live long enough.” Unfortunately, that is a statement heard too frequently when doctors are asking patients about their family’s health. For these patients, nagging thoughts may occasionally surface, such as “I wonder if I’ll get cancer too,” “If I get cancer, will there be any warning or will it just be too late when I find out?” or “I wish there was something that I could do to break the family pattern of suffering with cancer.”

If you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer, I’m sure you’ve noticed that it can affect your relationships. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships, but familial and friend relationships as well. The main thing I’ve noted while helping women through treatment and survivorship is the old saying “Communication is key.” I know that phrase may sound old and tired, but it is true, especially during hard times, as I’ve learned from my patients as a nurse.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer four days after my 32nd birthday. After the initial shock of the diagnosis, I was flooded with many emotions. My mind was clouded with “what if?” thoughts, “why me?” and I wondered how others would feel about me once they knew I had cancer. I toyed with the idea of telling others, trying to decide how and when I would share this information.

While most breast cancers occur sporadically (usually linked to environmental factors such as smoking cigarettes and hormone replacement therapy), up to 10% are hereditary. Hereditary breast cancers are caused by DNA mutations that are typically passed down in families for generations. Features of hereditary breast cancers include a young age at diagnosis (under 50 years old), multiple affected relatives in multiple generations, individuals with more than one cancer, and relatives with related cancers such as male breast cancer and ovarian cancer. But how do these DNA mutations cause cancer?

My mother was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer when I was eight years old and she was only 43. She had no idea that the BRCA1 gene ran in our family, but when she was diagnosed, she found out she had a 50/50 chance of passing it along to me, her scared 8-year-old daughter.

I will never forget the first patient I lost after becoming an oncologist. She had two young children and was diagnosed with advanced cervical cancer. Her goal towards the end of her life was to witness her son’s kindergarten graduation, and she did, before dying a week later.

My mother is a 28-year breast cancer survivor. Her diagnosis had so many effects, some of which were positive, including my decision to become a physician focusing on women’s health. I now specialize in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, which includes fertility preservation for those facing cancer.